God's Parent Heart

The last few days have been very heart tugging as I struggle with the heart hurts of being a parent. Seeing my child's heart struggle and hurt is not easy. Not rushing in and fixing it is even harder especially if you don't know how - but that often times just clips their wings instead of allowing them to learn and become stronger from what they are going through. I am so blessed that God has opened my eyes and heart with the intense awareness of how much more our Father God's heart hurts when we are struggling, feeling lost, overwhelmed, undervalued, blue, etc... I know the intense love I have for my own children and even the overwhelming love for other people in their times of hurt. I am standing absolutely in utter amazement right now of how much more Father God's love is for me. That just gives me a warm fuzzy heart hug (which I dearly need right now) and immense reassurance as I struggle in my daily life with raising our children (and note getting "do-overs"), in my relationship with my husband, family & Friends, in every day decisions. My Heavenly Father is watching me with loving eyes filled full of love, pride and joy as only a parent can as I take each baby step in every moment of my day. His heart hurts when mine does. His heart is filled with immense joy and love when mine is - probably even more. His heart feels what I feel only so much more intense as He is the God of the Universe. He created ME in HIS image - feelings and all. THANK YOU GOD!!

Showing Jesus

Tonight Malachi is being blessed with having a young man, Josh, (who was a counselor at the Signs & Wonders IHOP camp this summer) come and take him to the skatepark for a while. This is the first time that he has gotten to go skating since we got here. Randy & I are so thankful that Josh is being an amazing mentor and showing Jesus to our son through being excited to see him when we are in the same location, texting back and forth and spending time with him by taking him to the skatepark & skating with him. I only wish I was able to be there to take pictures … oh the heart of a mother.

Through the classes that God has lead me to take I have been made very aware of the importance of having healthy images of Father-God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. Randy & I, as well as the boys, have been focusing on trying to show “Jesus” to others through communication and fellowship. Some times it is so easy and comes naturally. Other times it is quite the challenge not to respond in the flesh to a situation or attitude. I wish we could say we’ve got it down but it’s a lifelong commandment and process of constantly loving one another. Its such a blessing to watch the boys (& us) try to put this to practice and at times have to stop and say, “That’s not showing a very good picture of Jesus.” or when it gives a great warm, fuzzy feeling when we get to stop and say, “Wow! That was an amazing opportunity to show Jesus.”

Being a parent is not easy but oh it is so rewarding. The love in my heart just overflows and grows with each moment.

God knocking

I just absolutely love seeing how God works out the smallest details to direct our steps to be where He wants us to be all in the right timing.

Yesterday some friends, knowing that we are basically on foot until God provides funds for the truck steering gear box to be fixed, called from the grocery store to see if we needed anything. I was going to say no but my mouth burst forth with “Beef bouillon please.” As soon as I said it I was wondering where it came from. I think I’ve only bought beef bouillon once in my life and definitely could live without some right now during this part of our journey of faith and waiting on the Lord. I proceeded to go back to my studies and fixing supper for my amazing sons and their friend, Jenelle. Right after we ate our friends showed up with the beef bouillon. We proceeded to sit down and start fellowshipping in sharing what God has been doing in our lives and how we are growing in His time of waiting and seeking His leading. Such a glorious time of heart sharing and joy. During this time frame there came a knock at our door. I opened it to find another of our new God brought friends utterly beat up in spirit, overwhelmed, exhausted and overburdened. After giving him a great big hug, I immediately ushered him in to our ministry chair. Josiah served him by getting him a big, cold glass of pink lemonade. After our beloved brother shared some of his burdens, I had our other friends start praying over him while I prayerfully applied oils to his leg that was under physical attack. Randy called at 9pm when he got off work, during our time of prayer, to see if we were to be going to where the gentleman (who was currently in our ministry chair) was staying to help unload his U-Haul. Malachi answered the phone and told his Dad he needed to come straight home and to hurry. So even Randy was allowed to participate in lifting up one of our brothers with our ministry group/team that God seems to be bringing together right now. Would love to report total healing for our brother but he definitely left a lot lighter and breathing once again.