Giving Lesson

We have been called to International House of Prayer to get equipped for the next part of our journey in His purpose for us on this Earth. The boys know how things have been very financially tight as we seek Him and wait. My heart just swells when I see and hear them profess the faith that they too are building during this time. Hearing them share how God just blesses our food supply for us to keep feeding physically and spiritually those that He brings in to our lives. How God provides a car from someone that doesn’t even know us so that when Randy’s truck breaks down and we are on foot … we are not, thanks to God’s provision through someone else in advance. How God directs our steps so that we are in a place at a specific time to see or meet someone that could not have happened unless it was preplanned. These are just a minute few examples that we are seeing and recognizing of God’s doing in our daily lives.

The boys know we are seeking God provision to finish fixing our truck, school curriculum for them, clothes (it gets cold here in MO – definitely not in Texas short weather anymore!) and bills. In spite of these needs, this past week we took the boys over to the prayer room, gave them some of God’s money and had them get quiet in the Lord and ask God who He would like His money to go too. I had told them once they had the person God laid upon their heart –whether they knew the person or not - they were to go, give them the money and tell them that “God wanted them to give this to them.” then walk off. The boys being very sensitive, discerning and loving were a bit quiet in having the responsibility of giving God’s money away especially when they knew we could use it for our bills. We spent almost an hour in prayer in the prayer room while they were seeking God’s direction. During my quiet time with the Lord my mind took off: Should I have given them more direction of who/how to give it away? What if they just give it to one of their friends to try and win favor in the friendship arena? PTL! My God is faithful and I was able to stop these ungodly self-doubts as soon as the thought about them giving it to someone their age. Who am I to put guidelines on who they can give it to? As long as it is given freely then God will bless it no matter whom or what age the person. I then settled into a glorious time of prayer.

Once I got quieted in the Spirit and entered into the Throne Room I had this intense desire for at least one of the boys to give their money to a specific person but I was not about to tell them who. As our time to leave was drawing near I kept asking the boys if they were ready and they didn’t think they were. We finally agreed to go walk through the Higher Grounds and Bookstore to see if it was anyone there – no results. We finally were out of time and had to get home to get Randy’s supper so he could go back to his work so we decided to we would just go back over after supper, that maybe the person(s) were not there yet. On our way home the boys were sharing their thoughts and experiences during this time of seeking and shared that they had someone on their heart but one couldn’t figure out how to get it to him and the other didn’t see the person there. I asked if they knew where to find these people and they both said, “Yes.” I told them we would then go find them after supper and give it to them. When I asked them who/where we needed to be, my heart and total being was so totally blessed as the Lord showed me yet again how totally in control He is. The person God had laid on my heart in the prayer room was the person that Josiah had felt lead to give but couldn’t figure out how to get to him. The person Malachi was looking for … are you ready for this? … was the wife to the man Josiah had chosen. Talk about affirmation to all three of us that it was totally the leading of the Holy Spirit and we were walking in His guidance. None of us had shared with the other who He had laid on our hearts until that moment. That was affirmation that ministered deeply to this mom, her two awesome sons and their dad after he heard the events.

Now we are anxiously and excitedly awaiting more of God’s money so we can go out and seek whom God wants to have it. This time with even more confidence that He is always directing our steps and leading us. Our God is always so faithful and true.

Isaiah 30:21 (New Living Translation) 21 Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left.

Condemnation or Compliment

We have been accused of the possibility of stealing - by a person with a long judicial record whom during his entire time of knowing us has been shown God’s example of loving one another and mercy. I have been accused of “attacking my husband” and “always tearing him down” because I am one of his chosen accountability partners and I dare to hold him accountable - by someone who, from experience, runs away when asked to be accountable or responsible in even the smallest way. I have been talked ill of for speaking & praying God’s will over my husband’s life, especially life choices and for asking him “Is this God’s will?” Our family has been slandered because we choose to attempt to live a Biblical standard and allow our sons the ability to make choices to prepare them for adulthood and walk the consequences good or bad instead of raising them the worldly way and forcing them to meet our demands with harshness and violence. We as parents have been judged harshly because we have the heart desire and focus to allow and assist our sons in finding their calling in life now while they are still in their youth and help them train/prepare so that they can fulfill their destiny to their utmost potential instead of allowing them to fumble around well into their adulthood or possibly waste their whole entire life and have deep regrets in their final moments. I would rather be accused of the above then live outside of God’s will and calling for our life. We are not perfect nor will we ever be but we strive daily, moment by moment to be more like Him. When I look at the list, instead of condemnation & guilt I actually see compliments and affirmation that we are living in His will and on the right track. Thank you Lord for the affirmation.

God's Parent Heart

The last few days have been very heart tugging as I struggle with the heart hurts of being a parent. Seeing my child's heart struggle and hurt is not easy. Not rushing in and fixing it is even harder especially if you don't know how - but that often times just clips their wings instead of allowing them to learn and become stronger from what they are going through. I am so blessed that God has opened my eyes and heart with the intense awareness of how much more our Father God's heart hurts when we are struggling, feeling lost, overwhelmed, undervalued, blue, etc... I know the intense love I have for my own children and even the overwhelming love for other people in their times of hurt. I am standing absolutely in utter amazement right now of how much more Father God's love is for me. That just gives me a warm fuzzy heart hug (which I dearly need right now) and immense reassurance as I struggle in my daily life with raising our children (and note getting "do-overs"), in my relationship with my husband, family & Friends, in every day decisions. My Heavenly Father is watching me with loving eyes filled full of love, pride and joy as only a parent can as I take each baby step in every moment of my day. His heart hurts when mine does. His heart is filled with immense joy and love when mine is - probably even more. His heart feels what I feel only so much more intense as He is the God of the Universe. He created ME in HIS image - feelings and all. THANK YOU GOD!!

Showing Jesus

Tonight Malachi is being blessed with having a young man, Josh, (who was a counselor at the Signs & Wonders IHOP camp this summer) come and take him to the skatepark for a while. This is the first time that he has gotten to go skating since we got here. Randy & I are so thankful that Josh is being an amazing mentor and showing Jesus to our son through being excited to see him when we are in the same location, texting back and forth and spending time with him by taking him to the skatepark & skating with him. I only wish I was able to be there to take pictures … oh the heart of a mother.

Through the classes that God has lead me to take I have been made very aware of the importance of having healthy images of Father-God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. Randy & I, as well as the boys, have been focusing on trying to show “Jesus” to others through communication and fellowship. Some times it is so easy and comes naturally. Other times it is quite the challenge not to respond in the flesh to a situation or attitude. I wish we could say we’ve got it down but it’s a lifelong commandment and process of constantly loving one another. Its such a blessing to watch the boys (& us) try to put this to practice and at times have to stop and say, “That’s not showing a very good picture of Jesus.” or when it gives a great warm, fuzzy feeling when we get to stop and say, “Wow! That was an amazing opportunity to show Jesus.”

Being a parent is not easy but oh it is so rewarding. The love in my heart just overflows and grows with each moment.

God knocking

I just absolutely love seeing how God works out the smallest details to direct our steps to be where He wants us to be all in the right timing.

Yesterday some friends, knowing that we are basically on foot until God provides funds for the truck steering gear box to be fixed, called from the grocery store to see if we needed anything. I was going to say no but my mouth burst forth with “Beef bouillon please.” As soon as I said it I was wondering where it came from. I think I’ve only bought beef bouillon once in my life and definitely could live without some right now during this part of our journey of faith and waiting on the Lord. I proceeded to go back to my studies and fixing supper for my amazing sons and their friend, Jenelle. Right after we ate our friends showed up with the beef bouillon. We proceeded to sit down and start fellowshipping in sharing what God has been doing in our lives and how we are growing in His time of waiting and seeking His leading. Such a glorious time of heart sharing and joy. During this time frame there came a knock at our door. I opened it to find another of our new God brought friends utterly beat up in spirit, overwhelmed, exhausted and overburdened. After giving him a great big hug, I immediately ushered him in to our ministry chair. Josiah served him by getting him a big, cold glass of pink lemonade. After our beloved brother shared some of his burdens, I had our other friends start praying over him while I prayerfully applied oils to his leg that was under physical attack. Randy called at 9pm when he got off work, during our time of prayer, to see if we were to be going to where the gentleman (who was currently in our ministry chair) was staying to help unload his U-Haul. Malachi answered the phone and told his Dad he needed to come straight home and to hurry. So even Randy was allowed to participate in lifting up one of our brothers with our ministry group/team that God seems to be bringing together right now. Would love to report total healing for our brother but he definitely left a lot lighter and breathing once again.